Dean's Master Asylum

Eh.  I wanted to hate this recipe.  And if I followed it word for word I probably would have. But as it turned out, it is a passable sandwich, that even Aiden will eat But it needed some tweaks so If I followed the recipe.  Take away the cheese.  The Coleslaw.  The Fruit salsa.  Leave just the turkey the taco dressing and the fajita.  So techically I made the recipe.  I just added more.  And I know Aiden at least will make again.

I didn't forget to post yesterday.  The recipe was so uninspiring that I didn't feel it deserved the 5 minutes. Today's was just as boring. Let us start with the lemon cocktail... Quick quiz what do you get when you mix lemon juice with orange juice in a 2:1 ratio Darker f'in lemon juice I've been doing shots of lemon juice since I was 7.  This does not impress me much NEXT!!!!!!!! Martha Stewart is a marketing genius! How much do you think she made publishing a recipe that is simple throwing a handful of roasted pecans on some bland green beans? I cannot even get Brandy to answer the question about how much she hated it.  It is that a flipping boring. These are the recipes that will kill me.  Bring on the aspec,  It has nothing on these

I just realized I will never get rid of all of my recipes unless I ratchet things up a bit.  My budget is $140 a week (Hey most of it doubles as supper/food/medication, can you say that about your hobbies/distractions)  so I figure I will try to see if I can get up to 12 a week done instead of just 7 as long as they stay in budget after 7. Today worked for a 2-fer Starting with Double Chip Cookies Got to love these community made cookbooks.  This (according to recipe) was ripped off of the Robin Hood flour bag.  It is a basic chocolate chipper with a handful of pb chips to make it a DOUBLE CHIP.  But the instructions. No vanilla or chocolate chips in the ingredients, but listed in the instructions along with dates. Who puts dates in chocolate chip cookies?  nope.  Will improvise on the vanilla but the dates are out. Created something even the daughter might eat.  (She didn't, boyfriends mom made cookies too) Second Recipe STAR W...

This is a first for me.  I have gone on a scavenger hunt for many of ingredients.  Neighbors gardens and garage edges are frequent haunts. I have cooked with cedar before.  Usually sticking a slab of fish on a plank and burning the wood to a crisp. Today is the first recipe I have from the South Dakota Sioux Chef cookbook (this one actually gives me hope of some good food.) but it has me scrounging the road ditches for a 5-6 inch branch of cedar. Done. Basically the recipe is throw the branch in with the beans for 25 minutes or so and then remove and continue cooking.  Well I started tasting at 25 minutes, and 40 minutes later I caught the taste of cedar.  Pulled the branch and gave the beans their own personal hell in the kitchen bomb. I ended up with this OK hint #1.  If cooking beans with cedar twigs, it is best to use 1 type of bean.  Different beans soak up the flavor at different rates.  I have run the gambit of nothing to eat...

I got to be honest.  This is my first Red Bull ever. And for $3 plus change, will only be buying it for a recipe.  I will stick with my normal red labeled battery acid. Because of such I wanted to hate this drink.  I have been bad mouthing energy drinks since Red Bull became the initial fad. This was not so bad.  Looks like a ginger ale or an American recycled beer, the peppermint was just a mild suggestion.  I could do this again. if offered for free. Don't get to excited out there, I still see these as poison Exactly what I needed to burn last night's disaster from my senses.  I've been burping up greens all day.

Hello My name is Dean and I have a problem I find recipes, and I make them Some recipes I make late at night.  So nobody knows. Nobody can hear my screams, my sobs Nobody sees me at my lowest Following a recipe that I know will not be good for me But I do it anyway.  I can't help myself But if I do it late at night, nobody can see me crash Tonight's problem Protein Liquid Salad there is no typo.  I may have hit bottom I should have stopped at the recipe name.  But this is a problem I should have stopped trying to buy all of the ingredients. Comfrey leaf, what is that... oh it is a decorative plant in my neighbor's garden Nut butter cottage cheese egg soy protein beet leaf lettuce aren't bay leaves poisonous? tears collected throwing these and others into the blender along with 1 cup of WARM mint tea I think my problem started in 4th or 5th grade.  My older aunt would come to the farm and she would make us play bartender....

So this is something new to me.  Making a Pound Cake.  Doesn't look to difficult and I actually get to use up some left over coconut.  Do not judge... it is in the recipe. So it turns out, besides having a crap ton of eggs in it, a pound cake is rather simple to mix up and pan up.  So here goes everything Looking good if I do say so myself.  Pat myself on the back and let it cool and it pound cake for supper tonight.  Turn the cake over to release from the pan and... Ummmmmmm Something is telling me it is not quite done. This is awkward. So what to do.  I am out the cost of 6 eggs and 1 lemon, sooooo... Lets scoop the goo back in there and bake it longer.  What will it hurt. Twice as long.  Did the toothpick test.  Still gooey. another 30 minutes... don't think so. another 15.  This is ridiculous, lets give it a try This is a very dense cake, and of course there is a centimeter thick crust around all b...

So I know the title gives it away but what the heck is this conglomerate of ingredients For those following at home, there is onion, cottage cheese, and 11 herbs and spices included in this motley assortment along with the more traditional bread making igredients. Well here is the final product Definitely not sandwich buns, There are 101 things that could have gone wrong, or this is the actually final product.  But I have issues. 1.  Pale white color while completely baked through and bottom is beginning to blacken. 2.  Rise.  I blame this on the 130 year old house.  Random and varying heat, draft and humdity levels depending on time, location, and location of the family ghosts.  I decided I need a proofing oven.  Come on internet give me your best. 3.  British bake off time.  I think I understand the word stodgy now.  That is the only thing I can use to describe these.  I do not have the experience of adding rand...

I was hoping there was something more.  Not expecting.  Hoping. Not sure what bothers me more. That there are people out there that write down and publish their drunken midnight refrigerator raids as recipes. or There are people out there that saw this recipe wherever it was printed and bookmarked it as "I really got to try this" or To be honest, this was a completely satisfying late supper while watching monster movies. I am a bit disturbed about the last one.

With a drink named like this, you knew I had to try it.  Nothing would be more "seasonal" than a pumpkin flavored cocktail.  I am sure to hate it like every other "Karen" drink that is being marketed today.  But... 1st warning.  It is a recipe from as far as I can tell the late 70's.  Well before the nauseating trend that has infected the nob hill population of soccer moms nation wide. 2nd warning.  Ingredients.  Rum, orange liqueur, orange juice, cream, ice.   No spice?  No actual pumpkin?  well if the flaming Dr. Pepper and the lynchburg lemonade has taught me anything, is that optimal and unexpected flavors come from the most unique of ingredients.  Who knows rum:orange:orange will give me something different with the cream than a rum driver. 3rd warning.  it was the last of my triple sec.  Never a good sign So that is what I ended up with.  Even pulled out the parfait glass as recommended because w...

My first time baking brie.  May be the last time not roulette related. Will keep tonight simple and quote Brandy "I love brie.  Baking has removed all flavor from it" Thank goodness I added the cranberries and brown sugar.  It could have used more. Really quite simple and boring tonight.  But I may have have something special for tomorrow

It must be chowder week.  Much to the dismay of the daughter,  She wanted mac n cheese.  Whose kid is she anyways?  Mac n cheese from a box. So cream and potato soup for the second week in a row.  This one, due to the name was quicker, if not much better.  I have a better one for guests and holidays.  This one was just a bit ho-hum.   But done in less than an hour. And I still have potatoes left. Me - just another blah recipe (maybe because 2nd time with chowder this week) Spouse - mopey as well.  She wanted mac n cheese as well.  The soup wasn't that bad to get pissy women in the house.  But she knows how to cook as well and is home way before me. Daughter... didn't talk to me at all tonight.  Guess she can cook wit her mamma the next time she is home.  But I am kind of enjoying the sullen silence

Last day of my vacation and I get this wonder.  So I get a sauce but nothing to go with it.  So what to do, what to do.  After a quick taste the answer was obvious Banana Splits... sorta Do not let this picture fool you.  The $0.60 squirt bottle failed on the daughter's ice cream and I ended up with poo colored sauce all over the place.  It smelled like raspberry, so that was a success.  What I licked off of my hand tasted as a success.  It acted like hot fudge... goodie, gonna love scraping that off of the floor. Have have the bottle left for future use.  But very tasty on ice cream.   Aiden and Brandy do not disapprove, though daughter wants to be warned about ice cream after supper so she doesn't buy her own after school. So now back to watching the mean green mother 

It is October, and the farmer's markets are beginning to be limited to gourds and cabbages.  Which isn't a problem per se, but this recipe is about 3 weeks too late.  Thankfully all are available and not overly expensive at HyVee. Had to be careful this time as the spouse is skeletonizing leaves in bicarb in my prep space.  Not sure how alkaline maple leaves would taste in a chowder, but from what I've been able to evade so far in the recipe roulette, it would not be surprising.  From smell alone, maybe pair with a runny cheese. So back to the chowder.  If I follow the advise from the last 5 dietitians that consult with me, it is a little pale.  But it is cream based so, stick it ladies, it is going to be pale. Dished up it looks a bit better (strategically ground pepper to contrast...) and yes in our house we each get a mini-loaf of bread with any soup...  Dr. Atkins can rot in his grave. I didn't mention much as we ate (first time at...

No! Looking through the internet pages to find some history on this drink (disappointingly named after the whiskey distillery) I found a multitude of different variations.  All but this one were more complex and maybe a bit more thought out The one I get... A finger of Rye Whiskey with a splash of OJ.  Once again,  NO!!! The OJ is not strong enough to compete, and only muddles the flavor.  Really looking forward for a real version in the future, should I live that long. And it is definitely more Old Nick Scratch vs. Old St. Nick Theme song for 10/5/19  (kinda)  More of a soundbite earworm

I finally get some food. Don't get me wrong, I always appreciate a good nightcap, but I was running low on leftovers. This one could be interesting.  It is too simple.  So simple of course I get myself in trouble not reading directions.  Want to get the food done by 730, cooks for an hour.  So brain says start at 6:15. Except reading more closely once I started, it called for 3 cups of "cooked" potatoes.  Well looks like we will be eating DURING the Godzilla marathons tonight.  (Cheesy movies take priority).  I can live with that. Well other than that there was no complications.  And you end up with this trust me there is ham and corn in there somewhere. This is a completely edible concoction, actually quite good, except both Brandy and I were torn. We couldn't help thinking we should pan fry and add a poached egg on top of this hash. Too bad the whole thing was consumed before we could try it tomorrow. So a success ...

Another Drink?!?  the recipe gawds are mocking my skills with solid food At least this one is non-ETOH and in season.  I can enjoy for breakfast without condescending glances.  (OK still will get a few) Here is the Bloody OJ - The blood is pretty  anemic, but I can fix that without affecting flavor through the magic of chemistry. If I deem making again I questioned the club soda as well.  But it does add enough that I understand the purpose Will I make again?  Maybe enhanced for an early morning recovery party, otherwise this is not good enough to add the extra steps over plain OJ Yes A...  that is the knife I used.  Every tool is a hammer as long as the job is done. THEME SONG of 10/3/19 keeping with the blood theme

What it with the drink recipes?  3 in a row is a new record, but I am looking for something a little more substantial now. Today's drink has the name that does not inspire confidence.  Who is going up to the bar to order a Sour Squishy?  That one is passed by even the most "white girl" of your  friends. Ingredient check... rum, apple schnapps, sour mix, grenadine... are we just cleaning out your liquor cabinet? It doesn't even look special.  Day old kool aid?  It does match Nemo though...  great camouflage   Even tastes like day old kool aid... or as Brandy says going flat Tropical Punch Soda. I dirtied my shaker for this? THEME Song for 10/2/19 Need a good Halloween song to move me forward...  however ended up with this

OK. First I want every one to know, I have been experimenting.  I have been cooking, I have been blogging.  I just haven't been linking to the book of faces. Why? The recipes have been soooooooo boring.  That is going to be the death of me, not some fuju spam gelatin covered noodle mold with eggplant, but a run of recipes where the word "blah" is too descriptive. So that brings me to tonight's russian bullet.  An Amaretto Sour. I know this recipe.  I have made multiple versions of this, but this one seems kind of excessive on the sour. There are usually 3 ways to "sour" a drink.                        1.  Add Lemon-Lime soda (LAAAAAAAZZZZZZZY)                        2. Buy actual sour mix - just as lazy but better tasting                      3. Mix lemon and lime...